Thursday, July 24, 2008

Please, can I go to the dentist?

Okay, normally the dentist is not my favorite place to spend an hour. Getting my teeth cleaned is just not fun. At times it's downright "uncomfortable" which is dentist talk for "this is going to hurt like hell". And there's always the guilt that I haven't been flossing enough and they can tell.


I have found THE dentist. The dentist everyone should go to. All dentist experiences should be like this one.

On Monday, all three kids had their cleanings scheduled so I took them to the new dentist. Just off the waiting room was a room with video games in it for the kids to play while they wait. Cool. The kids were pleased. But we've seen that at other dentist offices, so it was nothing too surprising. Then they took all three kids back at once. They had one long room of dentist chairs and each one was in a solid bright color. There were bright quilts hanging on all the walls. It was a very cheerful room. Over each chair, flat up against the ceiling, was a flat screen TV. They lay the kids back, put headphones on them and handed them each a remote. Every kid in the room could watch whatever they wanted and listen to it while having their teeth cleaned. Uber cool! The kids were very impressed.

The next day, it was my turn. I went without the kids. This time when I checked in the receptionist asked me if I would like to wait in the "adult room" and pointed to a room on the opposite end of where the video game room was. I hadn't noticed it before. No children were allowed in this room. It was a quite, nicely decorated room. There was a glass front refrigerator with water bottles in it and a laptop hooked up to the Internet. Awesome. I sat down and surfed the net a few minutes while I was waiting. Then I realized there was a massage chair in the room (how did I miss that when I walked in?)! And not just any massage chair. A Sharper Image massage chair!

Now I am a connoisseur of massage chairs. I've tried them all. Any place that sells massage chairs, I've sat in them and given them a good test run. As a matter of fact when Sam's Club was selling massage chairs, the kids and I used to go there and eat the free samples and take turns in the massage chair and call it a field trip.

I've never found a massage chair that comes close to this one. It had the calf massaging feature where each of my calves was being squeezed in it's own little area. And the back massage wasn't one of those that just vibrates. It rolled and rotated and even stopped at various points and played percussion on my muscles. I felt like a real person was in there.

They were late taking me back for my appointment. Like maybe 20 minutes late. I'm not sure, I never looked at my watch. I've never been so happy to have to wait.

Another lady came in and I didn't move out of the chair. They called her back after she'd been in the adult room only a minute or two so it was okay. I like to think that I would have given her a turn in the chair before long if she had stayed.

Then they called me back. I was taken to a completely different room from where the kids had been. This was a normal colored adult oriented room. The dental hygienist took all my information, went over my records with me, then asked me if I would like to do a paraffin dip on my hands.
She explained that I could do the hot paraffin wax dip on my hands while my teeth were being cleaned. Sure! I'll do that! She gave me some lotion that was called "Vanilla Cupcake" and it made my mouth water it smelled so good. Then I dipped my hands in the melted wax and she wrapped them up in plastic bags. I lay back in my chair, put on the headphones, chose the Travel Channel for my viewing pleasure and let my hands get soft while she worked on making my smile brighter.
When she was done, she went to fetch the dentist. She came back and we waited a while and she said, "I'm sorry it's taking so long for her to come in here, she's with another patient." And I said, "Huh? What? Has it been a while? Oh it's fine. No hurry." I could have waited a few more hours without complaint. This was by far the best dental visit I have ever had in my life! I was thinking, "Wow! I get all this just for a teeth cleaning? I wonder what I would get if I had to have a root canal? Maybe a pedicure!"

There was only one negative thing: I didn't have any cavities so I can't go back any time soon!

Maybe I could chip a tooth......................

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