Demon Pigeon Attacks Terrified Girl, Ruins Dinner

Hello, readers of my mother's blog! Emily here. I've been having some really amazing experiences this summer, so of course the first thing I actually write about is this:

I love Teddy's Bigger Burgers. It's one of my favorite restaurants. They have these amazing teriyaki burgers that I absolutely adore. I've been planning to get one, and today I finally had my chance. My friend Gaby and I had just finished teaching our last 5-Day Club for the day and went to hang out at a local strip mall to get some smoothies. And while we were there... Lo and behold..... a Teddy's! I went inside while Gabby went to get a smoothie, and she came back right around the time my teri-burger was finished.

It was probably the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

I took it outside to eat at one of the tables. Gabby was reading and I was just enjoying my burger when out of nowhere a pigeon just dive-bombed me. It whacked me in the head with one of its wings and sat on my burger. I shrieked (in a very dignified way), and the little demon flew away, flipping my burger over onto the table. The pigeon landed on the ground less than two feet away and gave me a look. I did the only reasonable thing I think of - I threw my tray at it, which finally banished it back to whence it came.

I looked back at my beloved teri-burger. The top half of the bun had been cruelly ripped away from the rest of the burger, and I had no choice but to throw it away. Gabby tried to convince me to finish it anyway, since there were only three bites left, but the memory of the stupid little pigeon from the twisting nether regions kept me from following her advice.

So, long story short: I didn't get to finish my dinner, and I hate pigeons.

Comments

Ben's Feet

Ben went camping with his youth group this weekend. He said it was the best weekend he's had since we've been in Hawaii, and possibly in his entire life. The one negative part was that he stepped on some coral out in the water and cut his feet up pretty good. He swears it was all dead coral - you shouldn't touch live coral, much less walk on it because it damages the coral. No one ever mentions that it also damages your feet. They just tell you not to damage the coral. Also, coral is a living organism . If you step on live coral and a tiny piece breaks off in the cut, it will continue to grow. Did you see the movie Alien ? If some creature incubates in Ben's feet, then breaks out and eats us all one night, I'm going to be quite miffed. (Make sure you read the inscription on his tee shirt in this picture. It's quite appropriate.)

Mammogram

I'm having my annual mammogram today. I always hear about how painful they are, but honestly, I've never thought they are that bad. Not the most comfortable, but not painful either. Every time I have a mammogram, I'm reminded of this story. It won the Erma Bombeck Writing Competition and I still get a kick out of it every time I read it. So I'm posting it here today for your reading pleasure: Erma Bombeck Writing Competition 1st place in Humor Category Winner Leigh Anne Jasheway of Eugene, Oregon "The First Time's Always the Worst" The first mammogram is the worst. Especially when the machine catches on fire. That's what happened to me. The technician, Gail, positioned me exactly as she wanted me (think a really complicated game of Twister - right hand on the blue, left shoulder on the yellow, right breast as far away as humanly possible from the rest of your body). Then she clamped the machine down so tight, I think my breast actually turned inside o

A Week After Surgery

Katie went back to the surgeon yesterday to have her foot checked. It was the first time we saw the stitches. When we saw her after surgery, her foot was already wrapped up in three inches of gauze and it's been wrapped like that ever since. The doctor decided that the sutures were not quite ready to be removed. There are stitches in the side of her foot where they inserted one of the screws. The surgeon told us that she has to be very, very, very careful not to put her foot on the ground. Any pressure at all could cause the screws to shift or break and that would be very, very, very bad. They knew we were going out of town for the wedding this weekend. In order to protect her foot as much as possible, she was put in a hard cast. It will come back off on Monday so they can check the sutures again. This cast has a very limited time to be signed! Katie may not get to have a lot of people sign her cast but she currently still has the initials of the sur

Mama On The Move

Search This Blog