Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Adventures in Babysitting II

Emily is a highly requested baby sitter in these parts. She often comes home with amusing tales of kids who won't comply, or dogs that threw up, or moms that never came home.

But this was probably her best story yet:

A little while ago, as we were getting ready to leave church, one of the moms ran up and asked if she could "borrow me for the next six hours or so." I was kind of looking forward to a nap, but six hours or more equals much moolah, and who am I to say no to what is obviously fate?

It turned out she and her husband were going to take their six-year-old daughter out to see a movie for Valentine's Day. The two boys ("T"is three years old and "U"is one) were going to go to their dad's parent's house for the day. However, for some unknown reason (alien abduction? The Bermuda Triangle?) their grandparents had to cancel their plans. Which left them scrambling for a babysitter, and, lo and behold, there just happened to be this amazing girl named Emily who was perfectly willing to watch the kids for a while.

The mom's mom took me and the boys to their apartment and explained that she was going to go back to her house to take a nap (lucky), since she had been watching the boys all morning (not so lucky). She explained the plan: fix lunch (PB&J, apples, and cheesesticks for T, mac-n-cheese for U), watch Cars 2, put the boys down for a nap, then mess around until Mommy and Daddy got home. Easy enough.

Grandma left, and I figured, since it was around twelve thirty, I'd go ahead and start lunch. T refused to eat, informing me at top volume that he would much rather watch Cars 2 (it took me about ten minutes to figure out how to work the BluRay). When I finally got it started, I gave the one-year-old his bottle and decided to start on the macaroni. Grandma had not mentioned where the pots were, so I rifled around underneath the cabinets until I found a few funky metal bowls that I figured would work well enough. I filled one of said bowls with water and set it on the stove to boil, then started on T's sandwich.

Just then, T started shrieking; I completely freaked out - red alert! Screaming three-year-old boy! - only to find that a car had just drowned in the movie (not sure how a car does this, but it's a movie). I relaxed and waited for the water to boil, watching the movie, when suddenly... Oh my. Whatever is that burning smell?

I turned around and oh, that burning smell must be coming from the flames licking up the sides of the metal bowl full of boiling water. That's right, the bowl was on fire. Or, more specifically, the rubber that I hadn't noticed on the bottom of the bowl was on fire and melting. I grabbed a bunch of paper towels (no time to look for oven mitts) and dumped the water in the sink, only then noticing the word "Kitchenaid" printed across the bottom of the bowl.

Oh... right.

Well, one adventure was over, and I turned around to make sure the boys hadn't noticed that the babysitter just almost burnt the house down, to discover that the one-year-old was covered in vomit. He had apparently chugged his bottle in a matter of minutes, then decided that he didn't like it after all and thrown it all right back up while my back was turned. He started wailing.

I rushed him to the bathroom, got him in the shower (no bathtub) and then couldn't figure out how to turn it on. Fortunately, there was a sink and a handy-dandy plastic cup in the room; I rinsed him off fairly well (he kept crying) and put a new diaper on him and then couldn't find any clean clothes to change him into. He walked around half-naked for the rest of the day.

I couldn't find any cleaning supplies anywhere in the house, so I just scraped up the bigger chunks of vomit on the carpet and covered the rest with paper towels, then collapsed on the couch in exhaustion and watched Cars 2 with the three-year-old (who hadn't noticed anything - gotta love the TV.)

Grandma arrived after I'd put the kids down for their nap (which I managed without any screaming, vomiting, or catching anything on fire) and showed me where the carpet cleaner was and how to turn the shower on. Then she and I talked for an hour before I finally just crashed on the couch; when I woke up, the kids were still out.

Thank heavens for small favors.

So, I just waited around with Grandma for another hour until Mommy and Daddy showed up. And, to cap it all off, the little girl spoiled the ending of "Big Miracle" for me.

Anyway, I now know to check the bottom of mysterious metal bowls for rubber before trying to cook in them. So it was totally worth it. And I got to write a blog post, which is pretty cool...


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