Friday, April 18, 2014


Didn't know I was a famous supermodel, did ya?

This was a total fluke.  A friend of mine who is a Mary Kay lady was holding a fashion show featuring Chico's clothing and Mary Kay makeup to debut the new Mary Kay car which is a BMW.

One of her models had to back out a few days ahead of time due to a family emergency.

So, naturally, she called me.

I'm everyone's favorite choice to model.  Five feet three inches, mom of three, closing in on fifty - it's a wonder the agencies aren't beating down my door.

She asked me to run down to Chico's and let them pick out two outfits for me to model.  

I thought I'd be in and out in a flash but it actually took a while with me standing like a human Barbie doll while three ladies mixed and matched clothes and jewelry on me.

It sounded something like this:

"Let's put the denim top on her."  "We only have one left in the store and if people come in wanting one like it, we won't have any to sell them."  "How about the denim crops, the white tank, and the white jacket?"  "No, the denim pants look all wrong with that jacket.  Put on the white pants."  "The pants look good but now I don't like the jacket."  "Get the aqua jacket."  "Get a smaller jacket."  "Get a bigger tank top."  "I like that, how about a necklace?"  "Put on this necklace."  "Take off that necklace." "Put on these three long necklaces and this one short necklace."  "I don't like that."  "Take it all off."  "Where's that other necklace?"  "This bracelet goes with that necklace." "It's too much, we need a different bracelet."  "These bracelets are too shiny, they make the necklace look weird."  "What about earrings?"

This was a running litany which put way more thought into jewelry than I ever have in my life.  I have to admit it was fun having people pick and choose clothes and jewelry for me.  I wish I had someone like that with me whenever I go shopping.

I understand now why models have such a far away look in their eyes all the time though.  They've probably heard this conversation every day of their lives and they tune it out because their opinion on what they are wearing is not solicited.  Not one sentence of the above conversation came out of my mouth.

I was quite nervous about doing the modeling and seriously considered calling in sick at the last minute.  I've been teaching the girls, though, that they should always try new things and step out of their comfort zones.  This was a chance for me to set an example but I was dreading it, to be honest.

When I got there, I was pleased to discover all the models were older moms like me.  Only one was tall.  Everyone was nervous.  One told us how she had flatly refused to wear one of the outfits they had picked out for her.  I couldn't believe she dared.  Turns out they just put the outfit on one of the other models.  

Once we started down the runway, I just decided to give it my all and have fun.  One thing I've learned from watching tons of high school plays - the kid who's embarrassed to be up there sticks out like a sore thumb and everyone notices them (and is embarrassed for them).  Which is probably the opposite effect of what they wanted.

 I just wanted everyone to have fun and not be bored so I strutted my stuff down the center, struck poses, and smiled at everyone.

I waved at people and acted like it was the most fun I've ever had.

I got some laughs and the girls told me I was the best model up there.

Now I'm just waiting for these photos to go viral, and for Hollywood to come knocking on my door!

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