Thursday, May 1, 2008

Wondering where we are going

The time is coming. It's on it's way. It's close but not close enough. We should be getting orders letting us know where we are moving. We'll get those orders sometime between June and September. That's just really too wide of a gap. If you were expecting a baby, and the doctor told you it was due sometime between June and September, wouldn't you want something a little more specific?

We've already begun speculating. There have already been job possibilities. Some of those possibilities have been shot down. Some new ones have arisen. We just don't know. If I knew, I could prepare. I could be getting excited. Or be learning to hide my disappointment. This is the hardest time, when we know the news is close, but we don't know what it is. I wish they would just tell us all, "You will get your orders on Sept 30th." Then if it happened before that, we would be surprised and pleased to know so soon. Knowing that it could happen as early as June but maybe not until September (and even then some folks have to wait until later) is frustrating.

I wish I could just put it out of my mind. I tell other people to do this when they start obsessing about what their orders will be. I say, "Just try not to think about it. You can't change anything anyway, so just trust that God will send you where he wants you to be. Relax." Okay, I probably don't actually say that out loud. But I think it. I think it at them while they are worrying needlessly over something they have no control over and they should just let it go and stop talking to me about it. I think this at them while I am rabidly turning over and over in my mind where we might go and what we will do there and if we will like it and how another move in less than a year will affect the kids. I listen to other people talk about places they have been and make lists in my head of places I would love to go and places I hope we never go based on what they've said. I drive myself crazy wondering about it. Kerry and I have had many whispered conversations about one place or another that looks like a possibility but we don't know for sure and we don't want the kids to get their hopes up.

Someone tell me where we're going!!!!

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