Mama On The Move

I'm having my annual mammogram today. I always hear about how painful they are, but honestly, I've never thought they are that bad. Not the most comfortable, but not painful either. Every time I have a mammogram, I'm reminded of this story. It won the Erma Bombeck Writing Competition and I still get a kick out of it every time I read it. So I'm posting it here today for your reading pleasure: Erma Bombeck Writing Competition 1st place in Humor Category Winner Leigh Anne Jasheway of Eugene, Oregon "The First Time's Always the Worst" The first mammogram is the worst. Especially when the machine catches on fire. That's what happened to me. The technician, Gail, positioned me exactly as she wanted me (think a really complicated game of Twister - right hand on the blue, left shoulder on the yellow, right breast as far away as humanly possible from the rest of your body). Then she clamped the machine down so tight, I think my breast actually turned inside o

OH! The Georgia/Alabama game this weekend was PAINFUL! At halftime, Kerry snapped off the TV in a fury and stomped off to read. If only the players (and coaches) would listen to what he is screaming at the television. The worst part is not that his team just gave a way the game to a hated rival. No. It's all the smack talk he gave to his buddies in the days leading up to the big game. One of our friends here, Rich, is a die-hard Alabama fan. Kerry had really bragged to him about how GA would stomp AL on Saturday. All Sunday morning as we were getting ready for church, Kerry was groaning about how Rich was going to really give him a hard time about the game. He knew it was going to be bad. At church we were standing in the doughnut room chatting with a new chaplain. He just moved here and we hadn't officially met. We were having a good conversation when suddenly, Rich appeared at Kerry's side. He never said a word, just stood shoulder to shoulder with Kerry, looking in the

Ben is studying Biology this year. He is in 9th grade and Biology is the first step in a long list of science courses that he has to complete on his quest to become a Marine Biologist. We all really enjoy the microscope. Every time we have to put some icky thing on a slide for viewing, everyone in the family comes running to take a peek. It is really interesting to see all the shapes, squiggles, and tiny creatures magnified. This week's project took some incubating. First, we had to walk down to the pond to get some scummy water. We were supposed to use a baby food jar, but as I don't have babies, baby food jars are no longer in plentiful supply around here. So I used a canning jar, which is a good deal larger. I figured we'd have plenty of extra in case we needed it. Next, we had to "feed" the pond water some egg yolk. Then we had to cover the jar in newspaper and let it sit in a dark place to..... um..........breed. We have left it sitting there on the counter

Ben wanted me to take a picture of his "beard". He does actually have some peach fuzz.....and one, single, long hair that I am just itching to snatch out with a pair of tweezers. It's all blond though so you can only see it when the light is hitting it just right.

Ben went on a boy scout campout this weekend. He left on Friday and was scheduled to return today, Sunday. They leave and return from the scout hut which is right across the street from our house. We don't even have to drop him off or pick him up. We just wave goodbye as he heads across the street with his backpack and sleeping bag. When we got home from church today, I started lunch while Kerry walked the dogs. He took the dogs out the front door, walked them around, and then brought them back in through the back door. There he found Ben, asleep on the fire escape. He had forgotten his key and couldn't get in the house, so he just lay down and napped until we got home from church!

We went to a kid's fishing derby on post Saturday. We got there a little after 8:00 to sign up and get a good spot on the side of the (very small) lake. The official derby fishing didn't start until 9:00, so any fish you caught before then didn't count. We let the girls practice fishing and Katie caught a catfish right off the bat. I think that was her fist time even holding a pole. Then she caught a bluegill. And another. Emily hooked a bluegill, but it got away before she could reel it in. We threw all the fish back - they were just for practice after all. The REAL fishing started at 9:00. The siren finally sounded to announce the beginning of the derby; AND...........nothing. We apparently scared all the fish during the practice period. The ones we threw back must have swum screaming through the lake warning all the others. We caught sticks. We caught our neighbor's lines (a number of times). There was really not much we could do about that. It was so crowded, if you

We all had to get shots in preparation for our "overseas" move. Kerry had to get Anthrax and Hep B vaccinations as well as a TB test. The kids and I all had to have Tetnus shots and TB tests. Here they are showing off their band-aids. The nurses like to tease Ben by asking him if he wants a Barbie band-aid or a Strawberry Shortcake. He pretends to be deaf. Katie was the most nervous about the shots. She took a doll with her for comfort. As she normally pays no attention whatsoever to this particular doll, I think it may also have been a ploy for sympathy from the nurses. She did really well. Her face flushed when they stuck her, but she didn't cry. And she recovered quickly. Unfortunately, they aren't sure she's had all her vaccinations. Her records show that she's had her second chicken pox vaccination but not the first . So they want me to bring her in and have her blood drawn so they can check her immunity and find out whether or not she actually had both

Well, we had gone to a nearby little town that has lots of cute antique stores. And we bought a couple of small things. And I slid the camera inside one of the bags. That particular bag contained a future Christmas gift for Kerry's brother. So when I got home I put it up in my closet where I hide all gifts. Once I saw the pictures for that day, I thought, "If only I had remembered that we took pictures that day! I might have figured out where the camera was!" Katie did a great Marilyn Monroe impression that day. I feel bad now that we told people our camera had probably been stolen out of the car!

I made waffles for lunch today. They are quick, cheap, easy, and a crowd pleaser. Did I mention cheap? That was really my main reason for making them. I had the ingredients on hand and pay-day hasn't quite rolled around yet. Katie helped me make them. We let Ben have the first one because he was the hungriest. He walked in, looked at the waffle, and said to it, "Hello, beautiful."

I don't think I mentioned that we all moved up a notch in our Tae Kwon Do class. Ben, Kerry, and I all earned our orange belts. Katie and Emily each earned a yellow belt. Yee-ha! Tonight we were getting ready to head out. Ben was out playing in the neighborhood with friends and forgot we had Tae Kwon Do. He's supposed to be home by 4:00 on the nights we have to go into town because we leave the house at 4:30. When 4:15 rolled around, I realized he had probably forgotten. Emily said, "Maybe I should go look for him." Our neighborhood is very small and that sounded like a good idea to me. She could canvas the entire neighborhood on her bike in a matter of minutes. I ran back to my room to get changed into my uniform. Just as I emerged back into the living room, here came Ben. "I forgot we had Tae Kwon Do!" He rushed to his room to change. "Did Emily tell you to come home?" I asked when he raced back in. "No, I just looked at my watch, and it pop

Today was Katie's birthday party. Her actual birthday is on Monday, but we had the party today because Saturday is an easier day for parties. She wanted a princess party. We sent out invitations with princesses on them. Bought plates and napkins with princesses on them. Told everyone to come dressed as princesses. Katie dressed like a fairy. Of course we had a mermaid cake. Ariel becomes a princess in the movie so it was in keeping with the princess theme. I didn't know it would have blue icing with purple boarders. It made all the girls look like they were on the verge of oxygen deprivation with their blue lips. I've always thought of fairy tale princesses as being a dainty lot. Not this crew. I felt sorry for our downstairs neighbors who had 10 princesses running around like a herd of elephants over their heads. Princesses don't always play nice either. There were accusations of bossiness. Threats of "I won't be your friend anymore" were bandied about

One of the things we've been warned about in Hawaii is the roaches. I've been told they are HUGE. I've also been told not to kill the geckos which also live in the houses, because they eat the roaches. And I've been told not to bother calling housing to complain about the geckos and roaches because they are only worried about getting rid of the rats. Ew. I'm not a big fan of air fresheners, but the girls like the plug in ones, so I have them in their rooms. And Ben's room just smells like dog, so I keep one in there too. Today I walked in with two new scents and said, "Okay, who wants the vanilla scented plug in and who wants the Hawaiian breeze scented plug in?" There was an immediate outcry from both girls wanting the Hawaiian breeze plug in. Ben said he didn't want one at all. He likes the smell of dog and becomes unhappy when I try to cover it up with any other scent. I pointed out that it won't be long before their rooms smell like Hawaiia

I try to make certain that I tell my kids every day that I love them. I worry that one of these days I'm going to realize I haven't said it in a while and then they will teens who are horrified by my very existence, much less me expressing love for them. Yesterday I told Katie, "I love you!" Katie smiled at me and said, "I love you too!" Yesterday I told Ben, "I love you!" Ben smiled at me and said, "Thanks!" Yesterday I told Emily, "I love you!" Emily smiled and said, "I love cake!" I still can't find my camera. I'm resorting to using old pictures of the kids.<