How Do You Waste Your Time?

I had to take Ben to town to pick up his tux for the prom. Before we left, I gave each of the girls a chore to do. I've learned from years of experience that I have to do it this way:

"Katie, I want you to clean off the dining room table while I'm out. Emily, I want you to clean the kitchen counters."

"Yes, ma'am," they chorus back at me.

Then I look each of them in the eye, "Katie, what did I tell you to do while I'm gone?"

"You told me to clean the dining room table."

"Emily, what did I tell you to do while I'm gone?"

"You told me to clean up the kitchen counters."

"Right. Don't either of you tell me that you didn't hear me say it."

I took Ben to pick up his tux. We waited in line with a bunch of very pierced teenagers and my heart swelled with pride that my son remains un-punctured. It's apparently a rarity. Ben told me he'd never felt so conspicuous in his life. Which is kind of funny because you know most of those guys get the piercings so they will be noticed and stared at. But it's the kid with no extra bling who stands out these days.

When we got back home, neither the table nor the kitchen was cleaned. Katie was on the computer and Emily was reading the Kindle. I barked, they jumped, and everything was cleaned lickety-split.

Around bedtime I was looking for my Kindle so I went to retrieve it from Emily. "Where's my Kindle? I want to read for a little while." She looked at me with an expression of exaggerated horror.

"But I'M reading it!"

"You had it the entire time I was out, and apparently wasted all your time I'm on it already."

"I didn't waste ALL my time on the Kindle! I wasted time doing a lot of other things too!"

Comments

Mammogram

I'm having my annual mammogram today. I always hear about how painful they are, but honestly, I've never thought they are that bad. Not the most comfortable, but not painful either. Every time I have a mammogram, I'm reminded of this story. It won the Erma Bombeck Writing Competition and I still get a kick out of it every time I read it. So I'm posting it here today for your reading pleasure: Erma Bombeck Writing Competition 1st place in Humor Category Winner Leigh Anne Jasheway of Eugene, Oregon "The First Time's Always the Worst" The first mammogram is the worst. Especially when the machine catches on fire. That's what happened to me. The technician, Gail, positioned me exactly as she wanted me (think a really complicated game of Twister - right hand on the blue, left shoulder on the yellow, right breast as far away as humanly possible from the rest of your body). Then she clamped the machine down so tight, I think my breast actually turned inside o...

Luau, Luau

This week we attended our first luau! We went to the luau at the Hale Koa hotel. The grounds were just incredible. There were men playing soft Hawaiian music, the plants and flowers were glorious. There were people in native costumes making headbands out of palm fronds, chopping up fresh coconut for us to taste, handing out flowers for us to put behind our ears and handing out seashell leis to each guest. It was very relaxed and peaceful. This was a Samoan man who kept us entertained during the cocktail hour. He was very funny! Check out those tattoos. He said the tattoos were part of a rite of passage that he had to go through. He said it took fourteen days to complete the tattoo and, yes, it hurt. And yes, everything was tattooed. He demonstrated how to climb a coconut tree using only a bandanna around his feet. They picked people out of the audience and gave them a quick hula lesson. Katie was thrilled to be one of the people chosen and of course it irritated Ben because he thi...

Japanese Fishing Shrine

Here's an interesting little spot we stopped to see. I'd passed this many times before and had never stopped to see what it was. Since GG and Sherry were here, we decided to check it out. There is a shrine of some sort with a statue and a carved rock. There was no information on sight as to what it is that I could find. There were flowers, food and incense left around the base of the shrine. There was a ceramic statue and a rock with a figure carved into it. None of the food was old or rotting (although plenty of it had clearly been pecked by birds) and the flowers were all fresh which made me think it must be cleaned and cared for on a regular basis. After we got home, I did some research and found this article about it from the Hawaii Star Bulletin, our local newspaper (I have edited out some bits, but otherwise the article is unchanged): "Maintenance" of the monument has been assumed by a group of Vietnamese Buddhists - Shingon Shu Hawaii, the Buddhist temple th...

Mama On The Move

Search This Blog