Skip to main content

Unscheduled Giggling

Crying is a form of stress release for most women. When we get tense or upset, a good cry can help relieve us enormously and clear our minds to then deal with what ever made us tense or upset in the first place. Me? I'm a laugher. When I get tense, I start giggling like mad. If the situation becomes really unbearable, I can wind up laughing so hard I can't even breathe. Tears stream down my face, my lips draw back from my teeth in a hideous grin, and I can't stop no matter what if I let it get hold of me. Once in junior high, my best friend fell off a trampoline and smacked her chin on the metal frame. She darn near broke her jaw, couldn't even close her mouth for a few minutes, and I was laughing like a hyena, only occasionally being able to gasp, "I'm sorry! HAHAHAHA! It's not funny! HAHAHAHA!" Another time, our Chihuahua almost choked to death on a piece of hot dog (Did you know that a dogs gums actually turn blue when they choke? They really do. It's icky.) After my husband performed a doggie Heimlich maneuver on her (and the other dog gobbled up the hot dog which flew out of her throat) I was in hysterics for a full 30 minutes. My sides hurt the next day from laughing so hard.

Yesterday, my son had his follow up appointment with the doctor for an ingrown toenail. He's on antibiotics and I went in fully expecting the doctor to say, "It's clearing up nicely. Go home." But instead he said, "We need to pack some cotton underneath the nail to lift it up where the nail can grow out without irritating the skin around it." Again, my expectations were completely off, because I thought they would take some cotton, and just push it up under the end of the nail a little, no biggie. What actually happened was that the doctor took a tongue depressor, snapped it apart to make a wicked looking skewer, and used it to pry my son's toenail apart from the nail bed without even numbing it. I looked at my teen as this procedure was being performed upon him and he had his fists clenched so hard his hands were shaking. And......whammo! I'm so upset by the pain being inflicted on my first born child, I. start. to. giggle.

Talk about winning the "Worst Mother of the Year" Award! Who laughs when their child is being tortured?!?! Luckily, I managed to squelch it. But it took all I could do not to start laughing, and I was making these funny little noises in the back of my throat, trying to hold it back. The doctor looked at me and said, "Are you going to throw up?" "No," I managed to squeeze out between my clenched teeth. I'm sure he thought I was really on the verge of spewing something all over the floor. But I'd rather he thought I was weak stomached than a closet sadist.

We made it through the appointment (Ben will probably never cut his nails too short again). The doctor asked Ben if the toe had been causing him any pain. Ben replied, "Only when someone rams cotton up under it." I hope this works, because if it doesn't they may have to actually remove the whole nail.

They'd better give me laughing gas if they have to do that. It's the only excuse I'll have.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Mammogram

I'm having my annual mammogram today. I always hear about how painful they are, but honestly, I've never thought they are that bad. Not the most comfortable, but not painful either. Every time I have a mammogram, I'm reminded of this story. It won the Erma Bombeck Writing Competition and I still get a kick out of it every time I read it. So I'm posting it here today for your reading pleasure: Erma Bombeck Writing Competition 1st place in Humor Category Winner Leigh Anne Jasheway of Eugene, Oregon "The First Time's Always the Worst" The first mammogram is the worst. Especially when the machine catches on fire. That's what happened to me. The technician, Gail, positioned me exactly as she wanted me (think a really complicated game of Twister - right hand on the blue, left shoulder on the yellow, right breast as far away as humanly possible from the rest of your body). Then she clamped the machine down so tight, I think my breast actually turned inside o...

Queen Emma's Summer Palace

We recently visited Queen Emma's Summer Palace in Honolulu. If you are expecting a "palace", you will be disappointed. It's a nice house but not particularly palatial . If you think of it as Queen Emma's Summer Cottage, you'll enjoy it more because it will meet your expectations. Queen Emma was the wife of King Kamehameha IV. Their only child, Prince Albert, died at age four, and King Kamehameha IV died a year later. It's a sad story. The home was used by the royal family in the mid-1800's. Today it holds artifacts from that time period. Some of the furnishings and memorabilia actually belonged to Queen Emma. Unfortunately, no photography is allowed inside, so I didn't take any pictures. I did, however, find some images on the internet which I am copying here. Don't sue me, please. I did try to buy postcards in the gift shop, but they didn't have any. This photo is of the parlor. Queen Emma acquired this baby grand piano later ...

Cookie Map of Egypt

Katie is studying ancient Egyptian history right now and in the interest of making it more "hands-on" for her, we've joined a co-op at our church. We've been part of the co-op for a long time, but we've not done history with them until now. I was in charge of this week's craft project so I had all the kids make maps of ancient Egypt out of cookie dough. Katie and I made one at home for practice, then we made one again at co-op so the pictures look different as I used some photographs from each session. Each child started out with one full tube of sugar cookie dough. They pressed each one out into a 10x6 inch rectangle as if it were clay or play dough. We used toothpicks to outline where we wanted land formations to be. Then we outlined the Mediterranean Sea with a blue gel. And filled it in with blue icing. We used Twizzlers to outline the Red Sea. Although the Red Sea isn't actually red, there is a seasonal algae there which is red in color. I thought the...