Skip to main content

Unscheduled Giggling

Crying is a form of stress release for most women. When we get tense or upset, a good cry can help relieve us enormously and clear our minds to then deal with what ever made us tense or upset in the first place. Me? I'm a laugher. When I get tense, I start giggling like mad. If the situation becomes really unbearable, I can wind up laughing so hard I can't even breathe. Tears stream down my face, my lips draw back from my teeth in a hideous grin, and I can't stop no matter what if I let it get hold of me. Once in junior high, my best friend fell off a trampoline and smacked her chin on the metal frame. She darn near broke her jaw, couldn't even close her mouth for a few minutes, and I was laughing like a hyena, only occasionally being able to gasp, "I'm sorry! HAHAHAHA! It's not funny! HAHAHAHA!" Another time, our Chihuahua almost choked to death on a piece of hot dog (Did you know that a dogs gums actually turn blue when they choke? They really do. It's icky.) After my husband performed a doggie Heimlich maneuver on her (and the other dog gobbled up the hot dog which flew out of her throat) I was in hysterics for a full 30 minutes. My sides hurt the next day from laughing so hard.

Yesterday, my son had his follow up appointment with the doctor for an ingrown toenail. He's on antibiotics and I went in fully expecting the doctor to say, "It's clearing up nicely. Go home." But instead he said, "We need to pack some cotton underneath the nail to lift it up where the nail can grow out without irritating the skin around it." Again, my expectations were completely off, because I thought they would take some cotton, and just push it up under the end of the nail a little, no biggie. What actually happened was that the doctor took a tongue depressor, snapped it apart to make a wicked looking skewer, and used it to pry my son's toenail apart from the nail bed without even numbing it. I looked at my teen as this procedure was being performed upon him and he had his fists clenched so hard his hands were shaking. And......whammo! I'm so upset by the pain being inflicted on my first born child, I. start. to. giggle.

Talk about winning the "Worst Mother of the Year" Award! Who laughs when their child is being tortured?!?! Luckily, I managed to squelch it. But it took all I could do not to start laughing, and I was making these funny little noises in the back of my throat, trying to hold it back. The doctor looked at me and said, "Are you going to throw up?" "No," I managed to squeeze out between my clenched teeth. I'm sure he thought I was really on the verge of spewing something all over the floor. But I'd rather he thought I was weak stomached than a closet sadist.

We made it through the appointment (Ben will probably never cut his nails too short again). The doctor asked Ben if the toe had been causing him any pain. Ben replied, "Only when someone rams cotton up under it." I hope this works, because if it doesn't they may have to actually remove the whole nail.

They'd better give me laughing gas if they have to do that. It's the only excuse I'll have.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ben's Feet

Ben went camping with his youth group this weekend. He said it was the best weekend he's had since we've been in Hawaii, and possibly in his entire life. The one negative part was that he stepped on some coral out in the water and cut his feet up pretty good. He swears it was all dead coral - you shouldn't touch live coral, much less walk on it because it damages the coral. No one ever mentions that it also damages your feet. They just tell you not to damage the coral. Also, coral is a living organism . If you step on live coral and a tiny piece breaks off in the cut, it will continue to grow. Did you see the movie Alien ? If some creature incubates in Ben's feet, then breaks out and eats us all one night, I'm going to be quite miffed. (Make sure you read the inscription on his tee shirt in this picture. It's quite appropriate.)

Mammogram

I'm having my annual mammogram today. I always hear about how painful they are, but honestly, I've never thought they are that bad. Not the most comfortable, but not painful either. Every time I have a mammogram, I'm reminded of this story. It won the Erma Bombeck Writing Competition and I still get a kick out of it every time I read it. So I'm posting it here today for your reading pleasure: Erma Bombeck Writing Competition 1st place in Humor Category Winner Leigh Anne Jasheway of Eugene, Oregon "The First Time's Always the Worst" The first mammogram is the worst. Especially when the machine catches on fire. That's what happened to me. The technician, Gail, positioned me exactly as she wanted me (think a really complicated game of Twister - right hand on the blue, left shoulder on the yellow, right breast as far away as humanly possible from the rest of your body). Then she clamped the machine down so tight, I think my breast actually turned inside o...

Japanese Fishing Shrine

Here's an interesting little spot we stopped to see. I'd passed this many times before and had never stopped to see what it was. Since GG and Sherry were here, we decided to check it out. There is a shrine of some sort with a statue and a carved rock. There was no information on sight as to what it is that I could find. There were flowers, food and incense left around the base of the shrine. There was a ceramic statue and a rock with a figure carved into it. None of the food was old or rotting (although plenty of it had clearly been pecked by birds) and the flowers were all fresh which made me think it must be cleaned and cared for on a regular basis. After we got home, I did some research and found this article about it from the Hawaii Star Bulletin, our local newspaper (I have edited out some bits, but otherwise the article is unchanged): "Maintenance" of the monument has been assumed by a group of Vietnamese Buddhists - Shingon Shu Hawaii, the Buddhist temple th...