Hidden Dangers of Hawaii

There are many things to be wary of in Hawaii. We've been warned. All is not paradise.

Don't dress like you have money. Don't turn your back on your drink. You could be drugged and mugged.

Be mindful of the ocean. Even the most tranquil waters can have an undertow that can whisk you out to sea.

Keep vinegar with you when you go to the beach to treat jellyfish stings. Jellyfish are most prevalent for the first ten days after a full moon.

Stay out of murky water. Sharks love murky water because they are basically cowards who like to sneak up on their prey.

But the most hideous, the most loathsome Hawaiian menace - no one even warned us about.........

.................Hawaiian shaved ice.

This horrible menace masquerades as an innocent child's treat.

It's under the guise of a friendly little snow cone that it catches your child's eye.

But this green monster is not your friend.

The fact that it is the size of your child's head should be your first cause for alarm.

But here is the most important thing, the warning that no one gave to me.......

Do NOT wear white.

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Ben's Feet

Ben went camping with his youth group this weekend. He said it was the best weekend he's had since we've been in Hawaii, and possibly in his entire life. The one negative part was that he stepped on some coral out in the water and cut his feet up pretty good. He swears it was all dead coral - you shouldn't touch live coral, much less walk on it because it damages the coral. No one ever mentions that it also damages your feet. They just tell you not to damage the coral. Also, coral is a living organism . If you step on live coral and a tiny piece breaks off in the cut, it will continue to grow. Did you see the movie Alien ? If some creature incubates in Ben's feet, then breaks out and eats us all one night, I'm going to be quite miffed. (Make sure you read the inscription on his tee shirt in this picture. It's quite appropriate.)

Mammogram

I'm having my annual mammogram today. I always hear about how painful they are, but honestly, I've never thought they are that bad. Not the most comfortable, but not painful either. Every time I have a mammogram, I'm reminded of this story. It won the Erma Bombeck Writing Competition and I still get a kick out of it every time I read it. So I'm posting it here today for your reading pleasure: Erma Bombeck Writing Competition 1st place in Humor Category Winner Leigh Anne Jasheway of Eugene, Oregon "The First Time's Always the Worst" The first mammogram is the worst. Especially when the machine catches on fire. That's what happened to me. The technician, Gail, positioned me exactly as she wanted me (think a really complicated game of Twister - right hand on the blue, left shoulder on the yellow, right breast as far away as humanly possible from the rest of your body). Then she clamped the machine down so tight, I think my breast actually turned inside o...

A Week After Surgery

Katie went back to the surgeon yesterday to have her foot checked. It was the first time we saw the stitches. When we saw her after surgery, her foot was already wrapped up in three inches of gauze and it's been wrapped like that ever since. The doctor decided that the sutures were not quite ready to be removed. There are stitches in the side of her foot where they inserted one of the screws. The surgeon told us that she has to be very, very, very careful not to put her foot on the ground. Any pressure at all could cause the screws to shift or break and that would be very, very, very bad. They knew we were going out of town for the wedding this weekend. In order to protect her foot as much as possible, she was put in a hard cast. It will come back off on Monday so they can check the sutures again. This cast has a very limited time to be signed! Katie may not get to have a lot of people sign her cast but she currentl...

Mama On The Move

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